Go outside, somewhere quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God

"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be."

Anne Frank

For the past few weeks I have been feeling afraid, lonely AND unhappy. There are many reasons why I've felt those emotions over the past several weeks, but I won't divulge them here. Suffice it to say that at the deepest level, I think I'm grieving, and I'm not sure how to heal or "move on." I don't even know if it's possible. It's a grief that many can't understand, so I won't try to explain. That's how it is with everyone, I suppose. Our sorrows are personal, no one else experiences them, and so no one else can completely understand our loss. However, those reasons are not the point of this blog post. I have read Anne Frank: the Diary of a Young Girl about eight times. I heard once that it is the most widely read book in the world, second only to the Bible. I don't know if this is accurate, but if it is, I believe it's for good reason. Anyway, this afternoon as I was driving home from church, I knew I needed to do something out of the ordinary today if I was going to be able to get out of the funk that I've been in this week. I remembered Anne's words, and decided to take the advice of a 14-year-old girl and go spend some time alone with nature and God.

Today is Father's Day. I'm not married, and my dad is no longer here, so I didn't have anyone to really celebrate with. I created a celebration for myself to honor my dad. I cooked up some homemade fried chicken and mashed potatoes, packed a picnic lunch, packed a bag with a couple of books and several journals, grabbed a camping chair and my dog and headed out to Pena Blanca Lake. My dad is the one who taught me to love being outside. When we were young, he took us camping, fishing and shooting. I only have good memories associated with those outings. He taught me to love the beauty of the world that Heavenly Father created for me. Driving out to the lake only seemed like a natural way to honor him, especially coupled with how I felt prompted to do so through Anne's words. My dad was always singing, and one of the songs that he sang to me when I was a little girl is titled, "My Heavenly Father Loves Me." Here are the lyrics to that song: 

1. Whenever I hear the song of a bird

Or look at the blue, blue sky,

Whenever I feel the rain on my face

Or the wind as it rushes by,

Whenever I touch a velvet rose

Or walk by our lilac tree,

I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world

Heav'nly Father created for me.

2. He gave me my eyes that I might see

The color of butterfly wings.

He gave me my ears that I might hear

The magical sound of things.

He gave me my life, my mind, my heart:

I thank him rev'rently

For all his creations, of which I'm a part.

Yes, I know Heav'nly Father loves me.

Words and music: Clara W. McMaster, 1904-1997. (c) 1961 IRI. Arr. (c) 1989 IRI

So, you can see how the words to this song he sang so often influenced how I feel about being surrounded by the beauty of nature. I'm blessed to live about 10 miles from the lake. I should go there more often.

I spent the afternoon sitting by the lake, enjoying my picnic, reading, writing in my journal, playing with my dog, meditating on the beauty that surrounded me, and observing the fathers who had chosen to spend their father's day at the lake with their children. It made me happy to see fathers building relationships with their sons and daughters by teaching them how to fish. Anne is so wise. Spending a few hours in nature can be a healing balm to a wounded heart, soul, or mind. For a couple of hours, I was able to completely forget the things that have been troubling me, especially over the last week. All week I've felt my anxiety growing, and haven't found a way to relieve my worries. One of the thoughts I meditated on as I was sitting by the lake, was how much Anne longed to be able to go outside, to feel fresh air on her face and to see the blue sky unencumbered by a dusty, sheet covered window. I tried to focus on those things. The blueness of the sky, the breeze, the sounds of the birds and insects, the green of the trees, the softness of the grass under my feet. I pondered on these things, and thought of the many people in the world who for a time in their lives haven't been able to enjoy these riches. I took a few moments to soak in the beauty that surrounded me. The riches of the natural world that Heavenly Father provided for everyone, rich or poor, but that were denied to Anne and many others for a time in their lives. I let myself feel gratitude, and a sense of responsibility to enjoy these things as often as possible. It's something I can do every day. I can slow down for a few moments to observe the clouds, listen to the music of birds and insects, close my eyes, feel the breeze on my face, and commune with God.